Some notes on, "why have kids" by Jessica valenti

There is a great quote from a Mamet movie, maybe state and Maine? That goes something like this. One of the characters is siting on a bench and another sits down by her and says something like "do you have kids" and the other answers, "I could never see the purpose in that". These aren't exact quotes but so etching along those lines. I laughed so hard at that line I practically fell out of my seat. But, what's so funny about it?  If people had kids for a "purpose", it seems like it would have stopped long ago.  So, why do they and we?

I don't know the answer beyond evolution but Valenti's book, despite some really glaring logical errors on her argument, raises some interesting and thought provoking questions:
What does it mean to say you "chose" to have kids, or you chose to raise them a certain way or you chose to be a stay home mom?  How much choice is involved when you know next to nothing about the options?
What are good, reasonable answers to the question, why have kids? valenti offers a kind of opposite answer: don't have kids if you think they'll complete you or fulfill you or I prove your life.  Don't have kids if you think you'll somehow control how they'll turn out or what they'll do to your life or your marriage or your sense of who you are. But, she never really says why you should.
What is a reasonable way to parent? Is there a "way" or many ways? How do you know your way?

Is the goal of having children supposed to do so something beneficial for the parents? The children? Botha. Society? And what is/are that something? And how do you know if you achieved it?




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